{Project Mayhem}

I still live, despite Target’s best efforts to draw my attention away from {PM} with something new and shiny and hence free up my server slot for someone who isn’t an insufferable douchebag.

With E3 upon us, I decided to take a break from sinking time (and money) into a goddamn DotA clone to watch E3 press events, because I’m job hunting and sitting around in my underwear watching grown men and women gyrate wildly for cold, unfeeling technology is a privilege I intend to savor until I ostensibly become a productive member of society. And hey, what’s the point of sitting down and wasting two hours of my life watching a press event if I don’t get to turn around and bitch about it? So let’s get down to business.

(continue reading…)

{PM} has many things that other servers do not: girls, for example (at least we think they’re girls). There’s also my totally sweet The Fury (I’m sorry, “space helmet”) hat that you cannot have, because I am awesome and you are not. Alas, we sometimes have in abundance what other servers have, such as whiny bitches crying about the thing that just killed them.

Some background is probably needed…
(continue reading…)

The newest Pokemon games came out.



If any of you need me, I’ll be busy feeding Whitney her own Miltank.

As the three of you currently reading this may have noticed, Yelly has taken upon himself the Sisyphean task of making the front page actually worth something beyond a link to the server stats. Having decided that trying to get people to read and follow the “no racial epithets/ethnic slurs” server rule is like herding cats, Yelly (official towel boy of {PM}’s Inner Circle) has instead chosen to focus on the more modest aspiration of making {PM}’s front page the next Ubercharged, but “better gooder and stuff”. To this end he has recruited us, the literati of the {PM} membership, to bring you joy, happiness, and wildly-inappropriate image macros.

Unfortunately, Operation Cleaveland Steamer Ubercharged.net hit a major snag when we all realized that a “literati” by {PM} standards is a “shit-eating retard” by everyone else’s. We also realized that (unlike in the movies) we can not fix this with a snappy training montage, even if it does have some kickass music. And then there’s the fact that {PM} lacks a multi-server empire and/or podcast through which we can easily spread our message of woe, our petty fiefdom sustaining itself on the donations/bribery that we make Tristram pay when he wears out his welcome (again).

But hey, if there’s one thing the uniquely-abled amongst us are good at, it’s approaching every task without the petty concerns the occupy the minds of the mundanes, like “feasability”, “practicality”, or “plausibility”. We’re gonna write up this bitch, and you’re going to think it’s the most awesomest thing in the history of awesome. Or Vish will facestab you again.

“But Chozo, Vish facestabs me anyway!” you’re saying. Yeah, well, he’ll do it to you harder. What now, smart guy? And then I’ll headshot you as Vish facestabs you, and you’ll be very sad that you have been shown who is the boss(es).

Anyway, if you haven’t guessed by now, I am Chozo, one of the new {PM} contributors, clan demoknightsnipyro, and that which confronts you in the dark abyss of your own madness when you stare into the face of an eldritch god. I look forward to bringing down the quality of your life post-by-post.

When I’m not shooting you in the head.

Which probably won’t be often.